Oh she Makes my Body Ache and you Know I Live for More, I won't Flake or Perpetrate, I won't Front no Funky Whore

First, and most importantly:

Dan, learn your place at my heel. You have been retroactively removed from the links one day early due to your eagerness to point out my mistake from last month.

Carl, traditionally, Colonial Marines can expect a rescue 17 days after being declared overdue. In your case, you're being removed from the links 11 days after being declared a lazy ass.

Victor: Take a break from the GW for five minutes and try to find your way back onto my links.

Everyone else is safe for now. As always, parties who have mended their postless ways are asked to leave a comment here so that I know to welcome you back into the loving arms of the greater good.

A couple of other quickies to flesh out the post a little:

I'm so proud of where I come from. Here's the latest reason why:

So, Calder has a new band these days, the Darling Buds of May. And my sister decided for her entrepreneurship class that she'd organize a concert with a bunch of local bands. So, having drawn up a poster for said concert, she and her friends decided they should put it up at the high-school they go to. To be put up, it needed to pass under the sharp eye of the head administrator, who shall be known as the central scrutinizer from this point forth.

He took in the poster, and called them back for a follow-up the next day, where he promptly announced that the poster looked fine, but that "Darling Buds of May" would need to be removed, as it was clearly a brash reference to marijuana. Here's a chance for a little reader interaction: without finishing this story, go to the comments and leave an honest answer as to whether or not drugs were the first thing you thought of when you read Darling Buds of May. Then come back up here and finish reading.

Seriously, go.

So, my sister calmly explained to the central scrutinizer that, in fact, it was a quote from a rather famous Shakespearean sonnet. You know, the one that starts with "shall I compare thee to a summer's day"? Like, the most famous love-poem in the English language, maybe? Ringing any bells, scrutinizer?

Apparently not. He upheld his decision on the grounds that people would still think that it was a reference to weed. Did anyone else just groan out loud at the thought of young minds under this person's power? I mean, the actual truth of what was happening didn't even matter to the man. The fact that people (of little taste, class, or education) might conceivably interpret it as a drug-related message was more important than the fact that this would be a total misinterpretation of the message itself. In an institution of "education", the administration is making important decisions based on public ignorance. I am so glad that that man was only in charge for the last year I was there...

Liam plays it cool with the females Ep.1:

So, I may or may not have mentioned that there is this really hot girl who lives with one of my friends. Smokin hot. Blake can attest to this (She was the girl who said hi to me right before the express bus showed up the day we went to see DJ Shadow, thus destroying any chance of conversation. I believe I referred to her as a "hot broadski" at the time).

Anyway, my friend was trying to invite a bunch of people over to watch a movie and eat Chinese last night. I thought this to be an excellent plan, and committed myself to the endeavour. By 5 o'clock everyone but me had dropped out of the plan. So it was going to be me, my friend, and my friend's smokin hot roommate.

We get to my friend's house, and there she is. I attempt "idle chat", asking her what kind of chinese food she likes. She replies with a rapt, almost sexually pssionate, list of three of four items, culminating in "really well steamed vegetables". I couldn't top that. Not ever. I divulged that I really know nothing of Chinese food, and was saved by my friend yelling for me from her room.

A short time later, we were all in the roommate's room and I was supposed to be ordering the food. I did so, and then my friend and I loitered in this girl's room while she did something on the computer. Idle chat kicked in again, "What are you doing?"

"Finding references for the paintings I'm using in my essay," I look at a computer screen full of pictures and words, I manage to pick out a naked woman amongst the colours of one. They are all old-looking paintings.

"Oh yeah? What's the essay on?"

"Rape in art."

Oh. Cool... This girl is a fine arts student at Laurier, FYI. And by that I mean a fine arts... oh nevermind...

So, I had a choice here. I could let that slide. Clearly I know nothing of rape in art, and likely she doesn't want to explain it all to me. My other choice is to bullshit a little bit and hope that I can come off looking like I know more about art than I do, and also being able to express interest in her essay without making her give me a lecture on it. Yup, all those wheels in my head were turning pretty fast at this point.

So, I don't think I really need to mention which choice I made. The only thing now was to think of an appropriate piece of bullshit to work with. My options, however, were quite limited. Well, completely limited if you must know. The only rape in art I'd ever heard of was Lucretia. Not that I really knew anything about it. It was Roman and I was hoping that that made it old enough to get me started on a road down famous rapes in history.

"Cool, so you've Lucretia in there somewhere?"

A glimmer of interest in her eye. Had I made it? Was she seeing something behind the beard?

"Well yes, but there's plenty before that," Damn, "Like, blah blah blah, something about someone getting raped by a swan"

"Right on."

Bullshit terminated, due to inefficacy.

The rest of the evening was pretty decent, although not from the "hitting on my friend's roommate" angle. The food arrived eventually. We decided to watch a movie from a box of tapes that the hot roommate's mom had given her. She picked out one that she said she'd wanted to watch, but had been too afraid to do so alone.

Well, that was good. Stereotypes throw me another bone! I actually thought it was a decent film. And by decent, I mean totally hilarious in a laughing-at-you-not-with-you sort of way. I think it was called Red Riding Hood but I can't find it through Google, so I don't know for sure. It was about a girl of 12 years whose mother moves to Rome with her, hooks up with some young man, and then skips town with him, giving the girl the keys to their penthouse appartment and a credit card. What happens? Rampant sex and drug addiction? Does she befriend a group of street children and selflessly and heart-warmingly rehabilitate them back into society? Nope. She becomes a night-stalking vigilante. Fuck yeah. With dialogue almost as stirring as that which I'd been engaging in myself not so long before.

So, unfortunately, it wasn't scary at all. Which sort of negated the "not watching it alone" aspect of my plans (not that I was sitting beside her anyway, given that they have 3 couches in their living room). Then she left 2/3 of the way through to finish her essay.

The quest continues...