Impenetrable, Incontestable, Indigestable Intelligence - Never Let a Computer Tell Me Shit!

So, here's a quick snippet of life here at the Uni:

I have a biomechanics lab today. It runs from 2:30 to 4:20 every other week. On the weeks that I don't have biomechanics labs, I have exercise physiology labs from 2:30 to 5:30. For anyone who's majoring in arts: labs are mandatory. That means that if you're too sleepy to go, you fail.

So anyway, back-track to last night: I'm looking frantically through my room for my biomechanics lab manual. I'm pretty sure that I bought it, but I can't find any evidence of that, and my credit card history doesn't back it up either. So I give up. I bought my exercise physiology lab manual, but not the biomech one.

This morning was shitty. (To diverge totally from my actual story) I got up an hour early to make food. My Dad bought me a crock pot, and I've been making wicked stews with it. I fillit with beef, garlic and onion, potatoes, and carrots, and turn it on low and let it cook until 7 or 8 at night. Then I eat a huge bowl and pack the rest into the fridge. Hello lunch for the rest of the week. Anyway, after slaving over this stew preparation, I then made myself a lunch for today, and then defrosted some bread and made myself some sandwiches for breakfast. Then before I knew it, it was 9:14 and the roomies and I were scrambling for our bicycles to get to 9:30 class.

And in the scramble I left my lunch on the kitchen counter.

So, fast forward to 12:30: I've finished my classes for the day and I've got 2 hours before my lab. Prime chance to go to the bookstore and get my lab notes. Except that they don't have any. Now, this isn't actually that surprising. The bookstore doesn't actually care about getting books to students. They care about getting as much money as possible. So they hate getting shafted by buying too many books. So, I imagine that a number of years ago, in a cramped smoky boardroom at 2am, someone had an idea. Of course, this idea was motivated by the fact that no one was allowed to leave the room until an idea was had, and yet this one still had a slight glimmer of briliance.

"Here it is!"
said the dipshit
"It's really quite elegant. We don't want to lose money on a single book, right? And the profs are coming out with new editions every year or two, so we can't afford to just keep unsold books for next year, right?"

"Yeah, dipshit!" someone yells, "Thanks for pointing out the fucking obvious one more time."

"But wait, listen! We dont want to lose money on a single book, so all we need to do is stock so few books that we absolutely know they'll all sell!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, how many kids out of a given class are going to buy the book? 70, maybe 80%? And that's worst-case. So, let's only buy enough books for... say 60% of the number of enrolled students in any class! That way we're guaranteed to sell out during the first week of class, and anyone who wants a book after that can order it from our poorly staffed help desk!"

And such was the dark genesis of bookstore policy at my school. There are 15 checkout counters at the bookstore, and all through the first week of class they are busy from 8am to 5pm. There are 2 people at the help desk. Ever. I walked into the store to get my manual today, saw that ther were none, and then pushed my way back out of the store through the 150 people lined up at the help desk. No fucking way that I was killing mylunch-break for that nonsense.

Of course, not all those people were there to order books, I imagine that some of them were eager to actually start doing work in their courses, and were picking up books. And there lies my other favourite bookstore story: Last year, the bookstore ran out of notes for one of my classes. I did the usual thing and stood in line for half an hour to order one (I didn't mind. It was a break from standing in the lines at the Financial Aid office for 2+ hours). I gave them my phone number at school, my parents number in Stratford, and my email address. The perosn at the desk told me that they were expecting the notes in two days, but that I shold not, under any circumstances, bother coming back there to retrieve them until the bookstore staff had phoned me to say that the notes were in.

Two weeks later my prof actually asked me why I hadn't gotten the ntoes yet. I told her that the bookstore hadn't called me yet. She said that I should go and find out what was up. I told her that they said I shouldn't go back until they phoned, but she said that I'd better do it anyway.

Here's the conversation:

"Hi..."

"What?"

"I'm looking to pick up some course notes. I'm not sure if they're in yet-"

"Have we called you?"

"No... But I've been waiting a while."

"Yeah? how longs a while?"

"About 2 weeks..."

"Phh, that's nothing. I've got guys who've been waiting entire terms just to see their books"

I think that that was supposed to be a joke.

"Listen, asshole! I've got a midterm in that god-damn class tomorrow morning, and I'd like to have laid eyes on the fucking notes before that happens!"

A short trip to the rear of the store later, and my notes were firmly in my hands.

Back to the present...

I walk out of the bookstore and get my bike. One of my roomies is supposed to be in this lab with me anyway, so I can share her manual. I then experience the worst bike home known to man. I mean, the only virtue of the bike that I ride is that it's too shitty to be stolen. It's a 12-speed bike with a youth-sized frame. But only 4 of the speeds work. The top 4. So I spend a lot of time standing up on my bike. That's point #1.

#2: The Uni I go to is built on a very shallow gradient. It slopes from north down to south. It's no steeper than 5 or 6 degrees most of the time. I like directly north of my school. So every morning, the bike there is awsome. But the bike back is fucking terrible.

#3: I don't know if anyone was outside today, and maybe it was only like this in Waterloo, but there was a ridiculous Norht wind blowing today. So picture me huffing and puffing, standing up on the yellow fucking wonder-bike, going uphill the entire way, with a gale-force wind in my face. I was ready to die.

And the best part? I knew that I'd have to face it again after my lab. I seriously wouldn't have biked home if I hadn't left my damn lunch there.

But I digress. I biked back to school (and I swear to god that the wind had changed direction so that it was in my face again)and went to the building my lab was in (also my faculty building. Go figure). I was about 20 minutes early. I dunno why, but it's good that I was. I walked by the room (not planning to go in yet) and heard someone writing on the chalkboard. I peeked my head in and saw a reasonably attractive TA causing the noise. I gave her my name, and was about to launch into some questions about how important it was to have the manual, when she asked for my name again. I gave it again, and she flipped to a different attendance sheet.

"Oh, you're in section 108."

"Yeah, that's me. My [super special online University] account says the same thing. Section 108, this room, this time."

"Oh, sorry! Your lab isn't until next week."

"Hmm. Are you sure? I don't know why it wouldn't say that on my online schedule."

"Yeah, definately. Most courses have even number sections going in the first week, but we do odd numbered ones. That might be where the mix-up occured. I'd let you stay for this one, but there just isn't enough room to get you on the computer for what you need to do."

"Oh. Thanks. I'll see you in a week. Wait-"

And hopefully, my diligent readers, you were also thinking this

"I have another lab at this time next week."

"Oh. Well, if you email the lab coordinator she can squeeze you into another section."

"Great, thanks. See you later."

And I left. But then my mind began ticking away. First, let me get one thing straight: I absolutely was at the right lab (at least according to my [super special online University] account). So no, the plot doesn't resolve as easily as "hahah, I got my two labs mixed up, I'm so retared, ahahaha". But, I thought, if my [super special online University] account can fuck up once, maybe it can fuck up twice!

So I trotted up to one of my faculty computer labs on the second floor to see where my other lab was supposed to be. I mean, if I'd shown up at the right room adnthe right time, but the wrong week for my first lab, maybe if I checked the right room at the right time on the wrong week for my other lab, I'd discover that I was in the right place.

So I did. And the TA told me that I was in the right place at the right time on what was definately the wrong week.

So then I decided to leave. But first I went and checked the bookstore to see how the lineup was doing. Different idiots, same length. Then I biked home again.

So let's recap: I biked home at 1-ish and it fucking sucked. I went back at 2 and wasted 20 minutes of metabolism only to bike back with nothing to show for it.

I sent an email to the lab coordinator telling her my trouble. I thanked her in advance for her assistance. Boy, what a mistake that was. An hour later my roomie (the one who was in the same lab) came back home. She told me that I was definately supposed to be in that lab. The TA (the same bloody one) called my name 3 imes for attendance before someone gave her a description of me. Then she blushed, etc, etc. I check back into my email and find a terse message from the lab coordinator: I'm in the right section at the right time on the right week. No, I cannot be transferred into another section.

To cap it off! The TA sent me an email appologizing (barely) and recommending that I come to one of the labs tomorrow because "They will all be too full next week to accomodate you". The first lab cuts into the first half of my chemistry lecture tomorrow. The second lab starts directly after.

Decisions decisions.

I hope that that's enough of my boring life to keep you occupied.

DAN! Fucking call me! We need to get together!