I Heart Valentines

This is a quickie because I really need to be studying right now, but this happened to me, and I needed to write it right away:
The only thing of note to happen today was anatomy lab, which commenced as usual with my Bill Milleresque instructor waffling for ten minutes. Then we got down to busness: The diaphram and surrounding area. We explored the diaphrams of our two cadavers in 4 seperate stages, the right and left halves of cadaver one and the same of cadaver two. Our instructor had removed the internal organs and put them in tupperware jars. His joke was that we were looking at the heart for Valentines day. Yup, is anyone else thinking Bill Miller right now? Anyway, we also covered most of the rest of the organs. The lungs were with the heart at the first half, and the digestive organs were at the other. When I got to the second half of cadaver two I was shown the same things about the diaphragm and then the internal organs: small and large intestine, spleen, stomach, gall bladder... and the liver.

This liver was amazing for many reasons, the first of which was its sheer magnitude. This liver was huge, at least as big as 1.5 of the person's lungs. Apparently the donor was very obese which makes the liver's job harder, causing it to grow. Except here was the odd part: It looked as if someone had placed some sort of bar against the liver and had the damn thing grow around it, much like a tree will grow around and partially engulf a fence post it grows beside. Except that this liver (about a foot long and 5 inches high) had grown about an ich and a half around this bar (which could not have been more than a quarter of an inch in diameter). The result was a trench at the "crest" of this liver. This screamed abnormality at me and for some time I stared at the liver without paying any attention to the presentation from the TA. I finally had to interrupt and ask her what the hell was wrong with the thing. She didn't know what could have caused it. I sat looking at it. It was vaguey familiar somehow. My thought began to wander, as they are wont to do, and eventually I began idly imagining spending valentines day in the company of some of my lab-mates. Then it hit. It hit me so hard I had to consciously restrain a physical reaction and a burst of laughter. I knew exactly where I'd see that liver before.

Gentlemen, the next time you're "in the mood", whip it out and take a good look at the "end of the road". Now imagine a reasonably attractive woman pulling one 50 times that size out of a tupperware container, same color, everything, and telling you animatedly all about it. I nearly shit myself. Luckily in not paying attention I hadn't noticed it was time to move to the next station. I discreetly questioned a few of the people in the lab with me, and no one else noticed it.

I am a special and unique flower.

Happy Valentines Day