Ladies and gentlemen, start your retardation.

I have hit the jackpot of idiotic personality tests. Unfortunately, I seriously mean idiotic as in "You won't think any of them are interesting or funny, and you might not be able to answer all the questions very well". But I'm going to showcase the best of the worst.
First up:

You Are A Blueberry Martini

You are a eclectic drink - liking to change drinks and venues often. You are usually the first of your friends to find a cool new dive bar or cocktail. You should never: Drink mystery drinks strangers hand you. Unless you want to wind up in foreign country. Your ideal party: Is mobile, hopping from party to party. Your drinking soulmates: Those with an Orange Martini personality. Your drinking rivals: Those with a Chocolate Martini personality.

What Flavor Martini Are You?

Jesus Christ...

You Are a Strawberry Daiquiri

You're a fun, playful drinker who loves to party. You may get totally wasted, but you're always a happy drunk!

What Mixed Drink Are You?

Well at least I'm not an Emo:

You Are a Freedom Rocker!

You're stuck in the 70s - for better or worse Crazy hair, pot soaked clothes, and tons of groupies Your kind showed the world how to rock Is that freedom rock?... Well turn it up man!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

From the irrational:

You Are a Sarariiman!

Or "salaryman." Whatever. Treadmill off, treadmill on. Most of the sleep you get is on Tokyo's extensive subway system, since you are putting in 14 hour days. You're a workaholic who works hard for no overtime. And vacations? Forget about it. You spend most of your trip hunting around for gifts to bring back all of your coworkers.

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

To the inane:

Your Elf Name Is...

Spicy Fruit Cake

What's Your Elf Name?

Just file the rest of these under inane...

You Are Apple Pie

You're the perfect combo of comforting and traditional Those who like you crave security

What Kind of Pie Are You?

You Are a Silly Hat

Cute, funny, and a little dorky.

What Part of Fall Are You?

You Passed the US Citizenship Test

Congratulations - you got 7 out of 10 correct!

Could You Pass the US Citizenship Test?

And to cap it all off. Or cap off the gushing wound this post has become...

Your IQ Is 115

Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test