More sporadic posting

So...Ellen brought up the good point today that everyone I write this rag for is within a 1km radius of me....except Ben!
So, Benner, this one's for you. It just has nothing to do with you, and you'll probably find it boring...
Basically, the title of this post is, "Liam has a vagina" or "Liam takes a page from the Bilyea book". I'm gonna talk about music. This is something I try to avoid, because Blake covers the bases pretty well, and this is one thing where I can't confidently bang off 500 words to the effect of "I'm right, here's why". But, I'm going to anyway. It should be noted that I was tempted to write this little piece two weeks ago, but I couldn't muster the faith in my own heterosexuality. However, I cleared it with blake this afternoon in my basement, and it turns out we're on the same page, so here goes.
Get out you "Let it Be" album, and listen for track 3, "Across the Universe". I'm gonna be honest with you: If that song were a woman, it would beg to lick my balls and I would disdain it. It's that bad. However, I'll qualify that statement: I've never listened to "Let it Be", and I'm proably not going to. I only came across the Beatles version (the original version) of that song after hearing another. I heard it here:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/268114
Don't bother pasting that link into your browser. Especially if your name is Ben. You won't like the song and the animation isn't... uh... good. At all. However, the song was enough to keep me in from closing the window. In fact, the song is just over 5 minutes long, and I was so interested I let it play out after the animation (maybe 3 minutes) had finished. I love it. However, I almost immediately thought that it could have been a Beatles cover. I don't know why. However, I did give myself a huge pat on the back when I discovered that to be the truth. It is at this point that I should man up and mention that the person who recorded this song with which I am currently enamoured is... Fiona Apple.
Feel free to post your lewd and unflattering commentary now.
It is at this point that I will attempt to print my "this is why I'm right" portion of the blog. After hearing the Fiona Apple version (maybe after hearing it five times...) I looked on DC++ to find that there was indeed a Beatles version out there waiting for me to dive right in. What a fucking disappointment. All I ever hear about the Beatles is "You have to like them, because every artist you've ever listened to was influenced by them". Yeah, I know. When I heard the song the lyrics caught me and held me down. I tried to think of who could write lyrics like that, and John Lennon was the only person who came to mind. However, when he went to drop the 'companiment, all he dropped was the ball (There was a 3rd version of the song on DC++, but it was so terible I'm going to pretend it never occupied space on my hard-drive. The artist in question's name rhymes with Dufus-C'ain't-Write [a weak rhyme, but I don't plan on lavishing any more neurons on that man]). So, anyone can say what they want about the Beatles. I do like them, and their influence is undeniable, I'm just saying that 1 song out of their entire musical output was a complete failure.
That's it really. If you hung on this long, you can emasculate me through text now. I've reconciled my feelings for Fiona Apple, and her hot body has reassured me that I am 100% extra-hearty heterosexual. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay, I just love to employ stereotyping and biggotry whenever I can.