And Now, Eternity (Cue Organ)

So, given the recent rash of Googling nightmares, I have decided to tally up the risk posed to our community by the outside world. I Googled everyone, and here's what I found:
Carl Leushuis: A simple name search will only reveal two things: Ellen's blog and Carl's math tutorial section. A "" search for his exact name leaves Ellen at the top, drops the math tutorial (listed as Leushuis, Carl), and adds his Kiwanis Festival placements and a Playmakers! Footnotes article.
Liam McKenna: Remember when I posted about not being popular on Google, even though I had written an article full of "porn", "soft-core", etc? That article has now lifted me to the second hit for a simple name search. A "" Search changes almost nothing because of the ubiquity of my name.
Ellen Hurley: Totally obscured by genealogy sites. nothing on the first page for a regular or "" search.
Ben Eybergen: The only hit is his grandfather's obit, and a "" search gets rid of that.
Blake Bilyea: Ellen's blog takes first hit again, followed by Blake's at second. Mine comes in at 8th, mainly because it features the article where I list his full name, address, and telephone number instead of just Blake Bilyea. a "" produces only Ellen and Blake's sites.
Dean Podburry: Did you mean Dean Podbury?
Dean Podbury: No relevant hits. A "" produces no hits.
Caleb Losier: No relevant hits until a "" search, which produces a list for a Super Smash Brothers tournament and a comment Caleb wrote on an article about P2P networks.
Jordan Grant: "Jordan Grant is 1st Cousin to President Ulysses S. Grant", not relevant, but still amusing. No relevant hits, a lot of places called Jordan looking for grant money. A "" search produces an OHL hockey player and a list of children's names form 2000.
[Eazy-E]: Ellen's site is the 4th hit, but the first 2 are all about his love of Javamukti yoga. A "" doesn't change the first 5 hits, but then replaces the rest with more Yoga and a Kiwanis Festival list.
John (and Jon) Thompson: Didn't know if I spelled his name right, but neither search turns up anything relevant, with or without "". I could be spelling hislast name wrong...
Tibby Leushuis: 2 hits. Ellen in front, the Australian Legal Information Institue (which didn't load properly) following.
Mathew Binkle, Matt Binkle: Matthew has recently been elected to the Senate here at Waterloo, congratulations. A "" produces a hit from Jordan which for some reason doesn't highlight his name, even though it's in the article snippet that came up on the search. Matt Binkle was a member of St John's ambulance, along with Tonya Cake, Azeta, Tanielle and her sister, and some guy named Steve Virgin.
Dan Nguyen: The world is overrun with them. Like my name, ""ing the search doesn't produce anything more useful. I would need to work a lot harder than I ever plan to to get inter-dirt on Dan.
Josh Kelly: Just like Dan, except that all the hits are about some musician. Even an Advanced Search which blocked pages mentioning "artist" and "honest" (part of this guy's band's name), kept the search flooded with hits for him, in spite of the fact that his name is kelley. Even a "" search turns up plenty of Kelleys, and the rest of the hits are about the same guy with the name spelt wrong.
Andrew Bakes: I am #8 on the hit list, with all others being sentence fragments about other Andrews baking things.
Kiersten Hanly: Kiwanis is #1, while some sort of strange name database is #2. ""ing reduces all hits to just those 2.
DJ Shadow: Kicks total ass. Just thought I'd mention that. I've been listening to my "favourite DJ saviour" for 2 days straight, and I would have gone very crazy otherwise. I haven't posted anything because I've actually been doing work, and it sucketh.
Hopefully this article will rocket me to #1 on a search for any of your names!