Hold it now.

After the last few days, it appears that my readership has expanded recently, and with that expansion brings people who are not as familiar with the way things run here. let me give you the background:
I started this blog in order to be able to comment on Blake's blog, but I soon realized it's value as an e-mail substitute. Previously, communicating with my friends came in 2 options. 1) write them all individual emails telling them that nothign interesting hapens to me. 2) get on MSN every night and find out how many other people are doing nothing. Now, I could just type one email's worth of inane drivel and they could all read it or not at their leasure. "Brilliant", I screamed, alarming some of my floor-mates. This is my site. I write what I please, and anyone who reads is free to comment. But, make sure your commentary is relevant to my posting.
So, to that end, here is a quick quiz you can take to find out if your commentary on my blog should include anything more than "Lol. Liam you are so funny, I want to give you some hot cyber-fuckin" or "Liam, you are a tasteless pig. I'm surprised people let you print stories like that".
1)Is my name mentioned in the above story?
2)Have I known Liam McKenna for more hours than I have fingers and toes?
If you've answered "No" to either of those questions, not only are you probably not old enough to vote, but you'd probably better watch yourself, lest you look a fool commenting on a post which doesn't concern you.
To be more specific, if you answered no to the first question, you can still comment, especially if you've known the people whose names are mentioned for more hours than you have fingers and toes. If you answered no to the second question, chances you you have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.
So, let's drop the stupid inuendo.
I have known Blake Robert James Bilyea for more years than I have fingers (although not toes). He is, without question, my oldest friend, and I have treated him the same way throughout the years. Some readers may be recalling that they were finishing potty-training when Blake and I struck up our friendship. I consider it a point of pride that Blake will tell me almost anything that's going on in his head, and that he takes all my opinions for what they are, just opinions. That doesn't mean I won't move to press my opinions on himas strongly as I can, but at the end of the day, Blake's business is his own.
On Dec.07 I pulished "phi·lan·der", a post directed almost solely towards the man who was named in it, and in good jest, in response to a phone conversation we had had not 10 minutes previously. It should also be noted that the object of the ...philanderance referred to in that post has, to the best of my knowlege, never visited this website. he countered shortly after with "How does he do it?", an appropriately themed religious response which I took to be all in jest. However, after a few days I decided that, as I am always right, I couldn't just let him win. I decided to write up a religiously themed rebuttal based mostly on the part of the bible where Jesus rags on some Jews for spending their time fasting to look penitant instead of actually being penitant. I felt this rang very true in terms of philandering on Blake's part. Some of our newer readers may find it enlightening to know that Mr. Bilyea was once a respected and high ranking member of a club dedicated to philandering in all it's possible forms. This club has, in fact, never disbanded. The membership simply moved to different cities and stopped comparing exploits. So, if you know anything about Blake, me, or the people we know, that post should not have been particularily infuriating. I did, in fact, attempt to make it as ridiculous as possible. I distinctly recall 3 elements of that post which were meant do just that: I provided a URL for a quiz where participants has to distinguish between pictures of vaginas and pictures of raw meat; I supplemented that with a piece of Vogon poetry (and if you don't know about the Vogons, you definately answered "No" to question 2); Finally, I emailed Blake a link to a flash cartoon where a ninja gave him the message "You are a dirty philanderer" in semaphore. I can only assume that all three of these elements were recived by Mr. bilyea himself, and that anyone interested enough to comment would have followed the URLs before doing so.
Thus, I was slightly unhappy to discover Blake's one-up post "OK Bitch, it's on." was nothing short of a tasteless attack on my sexual prowess. While it was still clearly satire, the ridiculous element was, in my opinion, missing. Where my post focussed on a portion of Blke's life about which, to the best of my knowlege, he is very proud, his focussed on the fact that I pick up women about as easily as I pick up pianos. I am still a virgin, and my shame and emabrassment concerning that fact grow with my age squared. Thus incensed, I proceeded to bang out "Blake likes 'em young", with which I am sure everyone is well acquainted. Or so they may think. The post was again a satire, although this time not so ridiculous. However, any women whom I may have used for the basis of that post haven't been to this site to the best of my knowlege either. So, if anyone out there who's made out with Blake (and there are a few) reads it, chances are it's not about you. Of course, some did, and proceeded to cause some sort of shit storm back in Stratford which has endangered my friendship with Blake, and that is something I will not tolerate. Whether you comment on my post in order to whine, poke fun, or point fingers, you will not be allowed to continue. It was a joke. A joke in poor taste, but if you answered "Yes" to question 2, you should know that that's the way I operate.
If you can't handle it, go read something about people you know, by people you know.